Chapter 9 - Who to marry?

I found myself asking these questions…to myself lately. Moreso, this topic has come up countless times in my conversation with friends and these were my few thoughts that I came up with and made into a poem titled; Enjoy.

Who should I marry?

Marry your best friend. I do not say this lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone who understands you, or at least willing to try. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laugh that will make your belly ache, your nose snort and your eyes tear - Yes! that kinds of embarrassing, sincere, soothing laugh. It is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them and somebody who makes you cry too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one who has passion, love and respect for God, because it’s on that solid rock that your marriage and your home will stand strong. I pray we all find that unconditional love that will last forever and that will never be diluted – even when the waters get deep, and dark. Cos trust me, it does sometimes. Lastly I say to you, you should not just marry someone you can live with, but rather, marry someone you cannot live without. Stay blessed. 

Chapter 8 - My one year anniversary of being a Medical student - Lessons and Advice

Remember when you were a premedical student in college? It seems like a century ago for many of us who have just completed the first year of medical school. It feels that way because our lives have changed dramatically. Normal life seems to have vanished, and suddenly, 24 hours in a day are not enough to get through the enormous volumes of information that we are expected to learn for every exam. It seems virtually impossible. Nowadays, we barely have time to eat or sleep.

Medical school is not the end of the world. Take it from me, a student who started this journey exactly a year ago, The best advice I have gotten in Medical school ironically came from one of my patients, Mrs R.R at a nursing home visit, She said, "Medical school is what you make of it. Do not let medicine define you; instead, tailor medicine to your lifestyle. Otherwise, you might become overwhelmed by the demands of your new life and lose the sense of why you chose medicine in the first place."

Great time with my patients - Grande nursing home, Dominica

So how do you survive medical school? From the beginning, time management must be a major priority. If you can manage your time successfully, you can still enjoy your life to a certain extent. Studying in med school is not the same as it was in college; this is a new world where you have to explore different techniques and find what works best for you. Its all about studying smart, not studying hard. If you don't know this at the beginning, you will learn it the hard way, so I learned.

Studying medicine is a long process and demands a great amount of discipline and sacrifice. But the reward is priceless. To all fellow medical students and inspiring MDs to be, I hope you continue to stay strong through this invigorating-academic-draining-reward fulfilling career. These are some of the common pieces of advice that has helped me so far

1. "Take care of yourself". You may face long-term negative consequences to your health if you adopt negative behaviors. Do not deprive yourself of healthy, fresh food. Do not ruin your health by eating fast food and avoiding exercise. Do not pull all-nighters and deprive your body and brain of sleep; the consequences are too severe for what may be only 15 minutes of productive studying. Your brain needs fresh food, water, fruits, and vegetables. Your body needs exercise and sleep.
2. "Don't compete with other classmates, or compare your grades to other in class." We all had to be competitive to get into medical school. But once you are accepted, the playing ground is now level. Competing with their classmates will not make you a better physician. Getting a 90% on your pathology exam will not make you a great pathologist either. As soon as you walk out of your first exam, look around, and you will see people obsessing about what the right answer was for Question 13. They are very easy to spot. If they come to you and ask if you put "C" for Question 91, tell them "No, that you put in the right answer." ok, maybe you don't really have to be jerk, but just stick to friends who share your philosophy.
3. Answer practice questions while you study. Studying my notes 10 times is probably the best way to prepare for exams." Wrong! The only way to test your learning is to do practice questions. For example, after studying your BRS physiology or Robbins pathology, complete the questions at the end of each chapter. This will help solidify the concepts you just read. Studying the same thing repeatedly does not make you smarter, but getting a question wrong will teach you a bit more. Professional educators will tell you that it is statistically proven that students who do more questions perform better on boards. Oh I totally agree. Only go back to the big books when you consistently miss questions on a certain topic and the answer explanations are insufficient. Also, listen to internet medical gurus like Dr Goljan, Dr Najeeb, Dr Adesina. They are the bom!
4. Get the big picture. You will likely start your first day in school delving into biochemistry, anatomy, microanatomy, histology and embryology (my once nightmare). From the start, instructors talk about columnar epithelium, and show you slides..all of them looked the same. The Radiologist will show you a fracture on an x-ray and all I see is an instagram picture edited to black and white background. Don't freak out yet, because tomorrow, you are learn about brachial plexus and you will wish you had more time to look at that "instagram photo". Bottom line is there is an enormous amount of information overload and so as you memorize, get the big picture!
5. Study in groups. "I am going to study on my own because I don't need anyone's help or I hear this a lot, studying in groups always slow me down." Wrong! Medicine is all about teamwork and sharing information. You have to be able to cooperate with others. Even when you apply for residency, it is important to keep this concept in mind. The moment the residency directors feel you will not be a good team player or that you might have "issues" with your colleagues, your application goes in the shredder. Find a small group of people who share the same healthy habits as you, meaning they like to exercise, they do not like to discuss grades, and they have a positive attitude. Once you find the right group, arrange to meet weekly for several hours to ask each other questions about concepts you do not understand. I can't recall how many questions I have gotten right in exams just because someone in my group just randomly said it. And once in a while in your study group, you guys can dance and sing away your academic sorrow. lol.
6. Take time to engage in stress-relieving activities. Everyone in your class is facing the same amount of stress, some people more than others. You might notice some students walk around with a frown, whereas others wear huge smiles. How is that possible if they are all facing the same pressure? Again, it is time management. If you have extra time, you are able to reduce stress. Spend time with friends, or do something on your own that makes you feel better. Activities like exercise, yoga, listening to calm music, talking to your parents, your "best friend" (if that's what you call it) or praying -- there is something out there that makes you feel better. Find it and do it. Do not let the stress affect your studies, relationships and, most importantly, health.

These are my 6 cents about Med school from the bird eye view of a beginning 2nd year medical student, but it applies to all other careers and courses, whether in communications or law, engineering or business. Wish me luck as I wish you too.

Chapter 7 - I found something after all - by Nancy Nwachukwu

A close friend sent me this beautiful article she wrote titled "I found something after all". Hope we all get up to this task of helping to shape and make our World into a better place for our generation and our children's generations. Enjoy!

Usually, emotions are very hard to understand. It’s almost impossible to fully unfold what emotions can be especially when they are true. True Emotions can be very embarrassing because it is compulsorily expressed. There is a kind of pain with a depth in which the heart keeps falling and the feeling gets as real as a piercing. There is a kind of joy where you feel so empty and it seems all the butterflies living in your stomach have finally gone with the wind. There is no middle lane. I do not think so.

Here is what I’ve found while I lay quite still on my bunk bed this morning. There is nothing as obvious as the fact that Nigeria has a lot of problems, scary situations, and the type that critical thinking cannot kill. As a child, probably six or seven, I always got the assurance that I had nothing to worry about. I’m afraid even now, I give myself that assurance. I’ve gone over twenty years in a country that is originally mine but it doesn’t feel like I belong here because it’s too problematic and complicated. Erase the sentiments; the ones you truly feel because there is a need to show off your stand and the ones you feel only because a class assignment suddenly requests you to bring forth two hundred and fifty(250) words. Once you’re real enough to notice the mess, you should be real enough to know that in all honesty, you are only a hypocrite. I may not break down the H-word into smaller pieces in order to show you how the big acts you condemn are clear traces of the tiny little secrets you have in your wallets but ‘once small’ is the other definition of the ‘now great’ and we all know it. I’ll only tilt towards what will best describe what I found while attempting to wrap my entire self in the Nigerian flag. I found something after all. I found something interesting.

So, the news went out that day about some missing girls/young women in Borno State and there have been efforts by the government to reverse the news but all we have is the hash tag ‘bring back our girls’ flooding the social media. The sect is now very popular and well mentioned on the newspapers and sometimes the leader is caught, a member is nabbed, the commander or director is arrested, by different police correspondents and the next newspaper highlights yet another bomb blast. If one of our comedians should translate this into a joke it’ll pass for one. It’s incredible how I could be a graduate soon and some young ladies couldn’t even get to the tertiary level somehow but who is truly concerned? I would like to connect three things briefly. I wish to connect the sense in posting a hash tag and making a joke out of the emotional breakdown of the first lady. I wish to connect the age range of the missing persons and that of the pupils and students who are having a supposedly swell time in other schools. I wish to connect how long the missing girls have been gone to how much fun an average Nigerian still has in the possible places when rest is quite important. I’m just taking some time to connect your emotions to Nigeria, could you help? The hash tags on bring back our girls could pass for a band wagon form of patriotism which could also earn a person more followers while the whole essence of this article is to find myself some good marks ahead of a sound convocation. However unimaginable, the true feeling of a loss remain with the direct relatives of the average missing young woman who is somewhere in Nigeria or a close by continent and does whatever. The true feeling of ‘lost citizens’ is not in so many Nigerians who are not national in the critical sense of it. Nationality is more emotional than it seems. It’s expressible and can be embarrassing when expressed because it is real. It’s not an article, quote, or placard kind of expression. It may be very close to that almost meaningless type of reaction that can pass for a joke. How close or real does the whole ‘Chibok girls could be me, you or your sister’ sentence sound to you? When you have read the sentence again and personalized it too, does it still feel awkward, untrue, impossible, and exaggerated? Will you say you felt pain? Will you swear you really care?

I found Complacency. I gave it a deep thought and I realized most people really live the day the way it appears. The things that are said to seem like there is a feeling somewhere are easily said to avoid looking different. It is very possible that this is the same attitude the Nigerian Governmental officials are giving to the situations. A Nigerian young lady knows about the news and understands it’s been over a hundred days with the missing girls’ story but it doesn’t TRULY affect her lifestyle, values and the kind of future she wants for her own self. Why is it hard to say that the young women kidnapped were unfortunate even when that is the realistic thing to affirm? It’s because despite what you truly feel, you think there is a need to show some concern since no one is in your heart anyway. It’s clear. It’s not hard to understand especially when you are farther away from the area in question. For the South Western Nigerian Business Man, his shops are safe from bomb blasts because his head office is in Oyo State. For the Northerner, his safety is believable once he has moved away from home and settled with the South Eastern Nigerian. Supposedly you are rich enough; the best bet becomes the other continent where it seems there is a reasonable amount of tranquility. Que sera sera make it even harder to see the future. This article will not exceed two hundred and fifty (250) words trying to motivate or inspire anyone to make their emotions true, no. It won’t encourage anyone to be more nationalistic. It won’t dispel the tribalism in you. I just want you to clearly understand hypocrisy as a gradual process as much as tribalism traces down to your lack of tolerance when another Nigerian language is spoken freely around you. Sometimes, the real you cry out for the native speaker to stop talking, the tribalism in you. Now Complacency is found so easily too. You will never truly understand the story enough to write on it or express true emotions about the entire situation until the so called ‘Boko Haram’ gets to University of Ibadan and you narrowly escape being kidnapped. Whatever kind of goose bumps you see on your skin will clearly define how much of true emotion you can afford for a formerly Nigerian situation that suddenly becomes your own story.

 (Excerpts from Nancy Nwachukwu)